Email newsletter, 10/12/2022

Mom and Dad guilt is such a common refrain I hear from parents all the time. “I feel so guilty for…” so I’ve decided to give you my advice! I know “mom guilt” is a trend but it’s also a real concern to moms and dads and caregivers of every kind alike.

If you feel mom (or dad) guilt, I’m going to give you some very valuable advice: DON’T!

Guilt is not necessary. Whether you feel guilty for not being around more, not giving her more attention, not seeing signs of change before she went down an unhealthy path, or not “getting her” and providing her with what she needs, guilt isn’t helpful or healthy. 

You are trying to parent her in an upside down world and she is very influenced by societal and cultural pressures telling her who she “should” be and social media platforms telling her she’s “not good enough”. She is also very influenced by friends and frenemies alike. Your job can feel, at times, impossible and insurmountable!

I have yet to meet a parent who isn’t trying. Could you try harder, do better, and show up more? Yes!
And this is your parenting journey…awareness and effort. 

But, let go of guilt: it’s neither healthy nor helpful.

Instead, commit to growing...showing up, listening, and trying new ideas! If you feel guilty for not giving her attention, make more time for those one-on-one’s. If you feel guilty for something you said or did, apologize and be an example of learning as we go and course correcting. If you feel guilty for being distracted by your own struggles, strains, and stressors, tell her you are going to try to be more balanced and then more present. 

Everything you try and every little change counts.
Believe me!

Lindsay
XO