We came from conflicting heritages – she descending from Polish Jews and I from Palestinians. Nineteen years my senior she is often more youthful than I. We spoke of politics, global peace, raising vibrations, Mother Earth, quantum physics, and oneness. She’s a cat and I’m a dog.
We met seven years ago in the sacred church at Douglas Park exorcising our demons with others who had lived our same existence. Saturday mornings of radical honesty. We were seen, heard, our feelings witnessed. Gotten.
My grievances hide the light of the world in me. I cannot see what I have hidden. Yet I want to let it be revealed in me, for my salvation and the salvation of the world. (ACIM, Lesson 69)
Six years ago we met for coffee. We shared from within our deepest fears, navigated life and loves, and grew. I learned what it means to hold space. She showed me and gave me the opportunity to practice. We found our individual Sources and our collective Nature.
Five years ago I morphed into a sponsor and she into a mother. Trust and friendship turned to unconditional love. We made amends and we forgave. We practiced a spiritual connection as sisters, as Sons.
The Holy Spirit is not delayed in His teaching by your mistakes. He can be held back only by your unwillingness to let them go. Let us be determined to forgive ourselves for our lapses. (ACIM, Lesson 95)
Four years ago I moved away and our connection grew stronger despite 8,615 miles. We wrote more than we talked and we admired one another’s journeys.
God’s Will is perfect happiness for me. And I can suffer but from the belief there is another will apart from His. (ACIM, Lesson 101)
Three years ago she visited me in distant lands. She breathed fire from the entry point I generated. I held her hand. We united with elephants, monkeys, butterflies, and spiders. Shining bright light in fields of chaos, we reconnected there.
Two years ago we both got lodged in alternate universes for a time. Long voice mail messages. Infrequent talks yet souls connected.
Miracles are seen in light. I cannot see in darkness. Let the light of holiness and truth light up my mind, and let me see the innocence within. (ACIM, Lesson 91)
One year ago I returned. She got sick. I suffered loss and grieved with her. She suffered loss and grieved with me. And she got sicker. Our visits became more significant, more sacred, more spiritual, more powerful than ever. She is a force.
Yesterday I said goodbye knowing I will not likely see her in this earthly form again. I do not want to release her to other realms. It is not my choice to make.
Her smile behind closed tearful eyes as she lay waiting — forever in my heart.