Learning to be Wrong

“No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth.” Lesson 131 in A Course in Miracles. Without context of the previous 130 lessons, this concept might seem vast, vague or esoteric. It might even come across as platitude. It is working for me today.

I am selling some furniture at the moment. A woman called me yesterday describing what my family calls a sideboard as a desk. Perhaps the photo made it seem smaller than it is. When I told her it was 12 feet long, she insisted that was not possible. How could someone who is not looking at a piece of furniture, be so insistent on its size? In truth, I wasn’t looking at in that moment either, but I have looked at it many times before. She asked me to lie down on the floor next to it and see if it is really more than two of me. I snarkily assured her it was 12 feet long. Does she think I’m stupid?

I am reading about Carl Jung’s theories about the individual unconscious mind and the collective unconscious of our myths, archetypes, and the fascinating cultural stories we live by. I always love a new framework for my neuroses.

I am dog-sitting a 60-pound doberman puppy who’s owner characterized him as “extremely needy.” I grow irritable as he whines, wants constant attention, cannot seem to function without my hand on him.

I am listening to Tara Brach’s A Forgiving Heart, asking for forgiveness for something I don’t believe deserves such a grand gesture, saying that I forgive myself for the act, and forgiving someone else.

I am learning that I am an Artemis who would benefit from cultivating some Hera or Demeter. I see how my stories allow me to characterize and judge others as needy, blinding myself from my own neediness, un-lovingly attacking myself with that admonishment. I recognize I will need to do Tara Brach’s meditation over and over again before I believe forgiveness is possible.

The sideboard is nine feet long.

No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth.

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