Universe, you are so grand and good. The pain of loss is so uncomfortable when I grasp onto it. For today I won’t do that to myself.
My morning self-care ritual is a cup of coffee, stream of consciousness journaling, and my daily lesson in A Course in Miracles. Full of anxiety again this morning, I sat down to this sacred gift to self. Out came anger, fear, confusion. I identified many of those feelings as being historical and very old in my heart. I reminded my inner child she is beautiful, kind and lovable. She is worthy of love. She is safe and protected. She is as she was created – pure miracle.
Then came prayer. I asked God to help me find balance between having no boundaries and building walls. I asked for fear to be replaced with love. I asked for help letting go of any clinging to the stories I tell myself about situations and about myself. I asked for help moving forward with ease, grace, dignity and compassion. I prayed for willingness to empty myself out of all I think I know and all control I hold onto. I humbly declared that only He can restore my sanity and asked that He please do so now. I said the Serenity Prayer aloud.
Immediately the miracles came. A Course in Miracles says a miracle is a shift in perception. That is what I was given this morning. I felt my Mom providing assurance, love, and heard her guidance. I felt my Dad offering love and support, even in his lack of understanding. I reread a supportive message from a friend that arrived the day before:
I know you and I see you. You won’t repeat the full cycle of the patterns in your path. You are more awake than before. You have done the work. You will make ‘mistakes,’ but you will and do see them. Trust yourself. You are awesome.
Just as I finished reading, I received another message from this friend sharing something I inspired in him and the domino effect underway with people in his life.
The Course reminds me today that “nobody can contain my spirit, nor impose on me a limitation God created not.” I am free to let the Divine in and let garbage out. Today I choose that path with gratitude.